November 9th
9:07 AM
9:07 AM
a message from Anonymous
Link to your personal blog please?(:
November 8th
10:17 PM
10:17 PM
a message from Anonymous
Hi, so, it's the one w/ no emotions again. I've felt this way for almost a year now, and I don't really understand the advice you're giving me. I have to strive to feel? But, I've tried that. It's not really like I can will myself back into emotions... And it's not like I'm depressed either. I don't feel the need to kill myself, like I used to. There's just... Nothing. Sorry to keep coming back. I just desperately need some advice. Thank you <3
No need to apologize at all.
Hmm clearer advice..
I suppose all I can really say at this point is ride it out. I can guarantee something at some point will snap you out of it, whether it’s falling for someone, or something awesome happening or even something bad happening. If you’re not in any imminent danger or depressed or anything then there’s not really anything to worry about at this stage.
If you’re someone who follows me on my personal blog, you’re more then welcome to message me there and talk a bit less formally if you just need a friend, which as the current adviser here, I recommend you do. Can never hurt to have an extra person to talk to regularly to share the mundane every day things with.
So yeah, that would be my advice. Nothing really to do besides just wait till there’s something to be emotional about. Relax, and ride the numbness out.
-bird
October 26th
10:02 PM
10:02 PM
a message from Anonymous
I'm the one who doesn't feel anymore. And I would love some advice if you could give it.
I think everyone goes through a time when they feel emotionless. Either due to bad things that have happened, or things that they’ve wanted to happen but haven’t. People have their limits but its important to remember even if you currently feel nothing, it won’t always be that way. It’s also important to realize and hold onto the thought that just because this is how you’re feeling or.. not feeling right now, that you shouldn’t accept it or become accustomed to it.
You’re a human being, you’re allowed a time when you don’t have to feel or think, but.. don’t let it be who you are. Strive to feel. Stay positive and push for happiness as much as emotionally possible, strive for anything for that matter. Eventually you’ll feel like you hit the wall or obstacle stopping you, that’s when you put your all into it and go straight through it.
Don’t stop trying to be happy, not for anyone or anything.
-bird.
October 25th
8:55 AM
8:55 AM
a message from Anonymous
can i send you a couple asks? I don't think my situation will fit in one.
Of course, use as many as you need.
-bird.
October 24th
7:04 AM
7:04 AM
a message from Anonymous
Hi(: so, i need to let this out. I can't feel emotions anymore. None. Happiness, Sadness, Guilt. They're just all gone. And I have no idea why. I just needed to tell someone. Thanks for reading.
I’m glad you felt you could come to me and I’m really sorry for what you’re feeling or.. not feeling right now.
I don’t like giving advice unless someone asks for it because no one ever wants to be preached to really, so if you’d like some help on this please send me another message.
-bird.
October 23rd
10:26 PM
10:26 PM
Setting most of this aside here for a sec, and I say this without knowing how old you are but I think at any age this still applies hugely: When there is a child involved, you need to put your own wants behind the needs of that child. I understand it isn’t YOUR child, but it is his. Whether him and the mom of this kid are together, HE will always be the father of a child and if you date him seriously it will affect you also.
You won’t just be taking on him, you will possibly have responsibility over a child and that is something VERY important to think about when considering this. But the rest is easy, if you like him enough, you can wait until the kid is born because it’s the right thing to do. Trust me, a whooole lot of drama may happen if you don’t, and really.. who needs drama at the end of the day.
-bird.
8:59 PM
a message from Anonymous
My problems seem insignificant compared to yours, but I'll try asking for advice. I'm very concerned with what others think about me. I'm very sexually confused, and I'm not exactly sure what I want. Although, I think I prefer men. Because of this confusion, I've never been in a relationship before. I feel as if my confusion wouldn't be fair towards the other person. My mom is quite homophobic and continuously belittles them. I feel like I would be abandoned & shunned if I came out. Am I lame?
By no means are you lame in any context. Discovering your sexuality is a very difficult and personal thing, but in the end it is just that- personal. It is very easy to rely on or value other peoples opinions on things that are your own personal feelings but if you learn to accept things yourself, believe in yourself, and understand yourself, then you begin to realize the opinions of others are irrelevant. Whatever your sexuality is, is perfectly okay. It isn’t something you can change, and it isn’t something wrong, it’s part of who you are and in the end shouldn’t feel like a huge deal (and after time it won’t.)
If you prefer men, then you prefer men. Embrace it, try changing your mindset and maybe for just a week think about it, explore it (safely, and not necessarily actively.) and forget all the negativity you feel towards it and see how you fair.
As far as relationships go, I have been with people who have been confused or had difficulty accepting themselves in this way and yes, to a point it does become unfair. It is better to love yourself before you try to love another, but, love doesn’t always come when you expect it. Sometimes you have to adjust.
Parents on the other hand are tricky, especially depending on your age/living circumstances. But all in all, you deserve to be loved unconditionally by your mom, and coming out isn’t for everyone, and is ALWAYS, I cannot stress this enough, ALWAYS on your OWN TIME. There is no rush at all, not for anyone or anything. When you are happy, secure, and comfortable with who you are regardless of the outcome and other peoples opinions, then is the time to come out.
I’m sorry if this was long.
-bird.
8:45 PM
a message from Anonymous
i kissed this guy and i thought we were still friends till i heard he called me a whore, but he denied it. anyway that was a week ago and he hasn't talked to me since which is weird cus we see each other everyday(although we've gone through periods of not talking before. i have no idea if we're still friends or not and idk how to find out without seeming weird?
Well it may not be what you want to hear but there are two points to this that need to be made. Firstly, if he called you a whore then in my opinion he isn’t worth being friends with period. But, I think in these situations maturity and being straight forward is the way to go. Simply go up to him, and ask if he still considers you to be friends and you should get an answer. People are often surprised if you confront them calmly but firmly, and you have a right to know, so that would be my advice to you. Just.. ask him.
And thank you for being my first question.
-bird.
A small introduction.
I think it seems arrogant to expect people to come to you for help when they know nothing about you, so I thought I would make a little introduction and let you all know that the blog is open for advice.
Although I’m not going to give too many details, I am someone who has been through a lot from a young age. I have experienced molestation, rape, bullying, anxiety, depression, sexuality and coming to terms with it, I have been through friendships, relationships, family issues, sickness, insecurities, a lack of confidence and self worth, trouble making friends, trouble keeping friends, trouble expressing myself..
Those are just to name a few. I am a bird who has been to hell and back, but came out the other side. Through it all, I learned a lot and if it helps me to help other people then I wouldn’t change a second of it. Consider me your friend, your bird, and someone you can turn to when no one else will listen, or just because you need an ear or a little help.
-bird.
